Random thought on October 11, 2013 at 10:50AM

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My head hurts every time I cough. Astig! :P

Random thought on October 09, 2013 at 10:20AM

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It's sad that pinoy comics kinda died in the Philippines. Ang dami ko pa namang paborito noon - hiwaga, love stories, engkanto, seksing tapusan, atbp. Nope I'm pretty much sure wala pang tik-tik na dyaryo noon!

Random thought on October 09, 2013 at 10:10AM

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I wonder what happened to those treats 90s kids used to love? Boogieman, bazooka, zoom-zoom, big boy, tamarind candies, tira-tira, small round bubble gums in different colors that paints your lips and tongue, and those M&Ms peanut knock offs that has gold ring on top of its packaging. I miss those.

Random thought on October 08, 2013 at 12:33PM

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All the while, I thought I’m inspiring wid my posts but it looks lyk many think I’m sad or something. Mukha bang emo ang profile pic ko?

Random thought on October 08, 2013 at 11:19AM

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I like the smell of freshly cut grass. Nope I’m not a goat.

Equality

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I grew up in a family where favoritism exists (or probably felt prevalently). I always think that my sister is the favorite one. I was always the one who are at fault. The one that couldn't deliver, couldn't do well in school, couldn't be proud of. "Ikaw ang panganay kaya dapat mas alam mo!", words I always hear whenever my sister gets in an accident.

I am not sure why. Because in my eyes, I tried my very best to be my parent's apple of the eye but always fails. Yes, I admit that there are times that my parents give me what I wanted. Huh, well if I think about it, there are two things that I could remember. First is when they bought me my first bike. And second is when they decided to buy me my first pc. Big things I guess but after that no more.

I never went to a dentist when I was a kid. My sister did. My money going to school is 60 pesos until 4th year highschool. My sister got 100 on her 2nd year.

I got a lot of spanks whenever my sister gets into trouble. In an instance, I even felt that I was not the real child.

All these led to not being close to my sister. Hate to her grew. She gets everything she wants. This is the reason why sometimes, I'd rather live alone rather than living with her. This is also one of the reason why I married early.

Now that I have my own family to tend to. My own kids to mold. I try my very best to treat my kids equally. If I bought things for one, I'll buy things for the other. I let them feel that they are equal. No favorites. I love them both.

And hopefully I am doing a good job.

Current State of the Mind

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Recently, with all the changes and adversities this life brings to me and my family, it seems that all these things brings toll to my mind as well.

I am still not sure but I feel that I have so much things that I am worried about. I read a book entitled, "How to stop worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. In there, Dale said that in order to stop worrying, live life in a day-tight compartment. Free yourself from any worries by just living each day not thinking of the tomorrow and the past.

I'm trying to do just that but it seems that it is not working. I am still thinking where would I get the things that I needed to provide for my family. I am always thinking these things and I couldn't stop. This wakes me up in the middle of the night lately and I am getting afraid that I could get crazy.

Worry, as they say, can bring toll to one's health. And I'm afraid of it. What will I do?

I feel that right now I am just holding it in. I am afraid that when the time comes I could get snapped and loose reality. I need to do something.